Author Topic: Oh the irony - having fun in recovery and the difficulties of last night  (Read 3454 times)

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Offline CD

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 8)  8)  8)  Issac ,Do what you know you should do, you worked hard to get your recovery , don't do anything to screw it up . I know I get moody and sometimes tell people where to go . We are human , Congrats on getting back into college , that's a great gift you can do because of recovery . Take care we  miss you around here.Be a wise addict and don't give in on your recovery .   8)  8)  8)
Being stuck way up north I read literature do service in my area,region,and homegroup.New friends new ways of life.Left old friend out there same old story they have .Like helping newcomers , I was one once,have to give back what was freely given to me .

Offline Isaac

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Are there any youth on here which can relate ? Unfortunately in Canada the fellowship is still small whereas seeing meetings in California they have alot more group activity - they were selling tickets to an Angles game , Beach bashes ( mind you the climate and population size here is not the same )

Offline Isaac

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Oh the irony - having fun in recovery and the difficulties of last night
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2012, 11:34:24 AM »
I have not posted here in a while due to changes of life as a result of staying in the program and the opportunity it has granted me to return to university.

Last night was very difficult - I am a 21 year old male , very physically active and I have just over sixteen months. Yesterday I became very judgmental of an old sponsee brother who attended a club with others in recovery. He has six months and continues to do what he has always done and will end up the same way ( not to mention the anger that I voiced to those he was going with who had multiple like 6 , 8 , 10 years ; I cant say anything to them because how are they going to tell an adult no you cannot come but I dont think they should endorse him to come with him).

Anyways I moves to university . In my new area there are not many youth in recovery, most are on weekend missions to become self destructive. Due to circumstance and following a suggestion to not engage with females in the rooms , human nature ; the a need for intimacy and contact ,  has fueled my obsession for women . I do not live in a luxurious place and both of my roommates are attaining  Masters and PhD. We dont speak much and there is not much to do around home ; we do not have TV or the internet.

To make a long story short , I was planning to go to a bar, with no accountability to try and pick up a female ( I spend 6 days a week in a library ). I had made a decision to go and then this voice , the one I tried so hard to ignore , was like at least call your sponsor and let him know your plans ; I am trying to work an honest program and that would've been very hippocritical to not mention " oh by the way I am going to a bar tonight , alone , not even any normal friends around, to try and pick up a young girl. I rationalized and justified all actions which were least to say, very out of character- a decision made on the fly. I ended up staying home resentful , lacking acceptance everything . but I woke up clean . The things I hate doing end up ensuring I will not be around people who are engaging in dangerous behaviors.

Being a newcomer in recovery is tough, especially moving to an area where there are not many young males to hang out with . But its back to the school work and grind