Author Topic: Getting better despite...  (Read 1812 times)

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Offline Monkey

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Getting better despite...
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2011, 04:00:11 PM »
Things might not get better for me, but I can get better despite things." 
When I was a newcomer, I was convinced that because I was now clean, things in my life would get better. I was sure my career would finally get on track, my relationships would improve, etc., and I knew that as those things came together, I would finally be happy. In fact, I secretly felt like I deserved for things to improve now that I was being "good". Boy was I wrong.
What actually happened was that my life started to spiral out of control. It was as if things had a natural momentum to them, and even though I wasn't acting the same way, the wreckage of my past was beginning to catch up with me. As I grew more and more miserable, my sponsor taught me something that set me free.
I remember he sat me down and asked me if I could make it through the day without using anything. I told him I could, and that's when he taught me that while I may not be able to control all the things in my life, I could control the most important thing of all - my  recovery. He told me that if I took care of that, then all the other "things" would work out.
While at first I didn't believe him, it turns out he was right.
Today I know that while things may not always get better for me, I can get better if I focus on the one thing that matters.