Having had a lack of good NA meetings and my connection with this site I've had since it started , I am suffering really bad .It used to be No Hope No Dope , Now it is no recovery , and losing the HOW I learned early in recovery .Honesty , Open-mindedness , Willingness .Our internet has been down . Three computer crashed even my new one , maybe viruses . I don't know. Wife bought new Windows 8 computer , but no touch screen .Doing cut and pastes are not easy anymore.I have no car,no one calls anymore to see if I need a ride.I think I'm totally loseing it . On January tenth , 2013 I will have 8 years clean. I really would like to not care anymore,I'm suffering bad , no friends no nothing even my cats don't like me anymore.Letting go of all of this is a way to heal , I hope it works .